Storm Desmond has struck land on the west coast of Ireland and is slowly trailing it's destruction across county Donegal and we are in it's direct path! so the fire is lit, the candles are at the ready and the laptop is fully charged because around here if there's a stiff breeze, the electricity goes out!
As for my day?.......well it was a day of running errands and trying to organise ourselves for Christmas, and, as a special treat, or rather using the excuse of a Christmas 'works' party, I had a little lunch outing at a local hostelry, a place that people have raved to me about saying the quality of the food outweighs the costly prices.
As I live in a border region and the nearest big town to me on the Donegal side is 17 miles away! we tend to spend half our time travelling over the border into Derry for this and that, convenient yes, but not really when you have to contend with the disadvantage that is the euro to sterling exchange rate, which is excruciating at the moment! so when you head out for a bite to eat in the city of Derry factoring in the exchange rate is essential!
Sadly my Christmas 'works' outing/office party turned out to be a disaster from the minute we sat down and were served up lukewarm coffee!
The menu was filled with those American Italian diner style classics....lasagne, spaghetti and meatballs, pizza, burgers, pulled meats, hot dogs, but as I am ever a cheese fan, I ordered a goat's cheese salad....the description on the menu was that it came with...baby gem lettuce, red peppers, croutons, ranch dressing, and was served with warm dough balls.........I had visions of lovely fluffy balls of fresh baked bread, warm from the oven onto which I could spread my creamy goats cheese, I imagined crisp gem lettuce and red pepper, crunchy croutons and a delicious creamy dressing........unfortunately my Christmas hadn't come early!
The salad was nearly as flat as the plate it was served on, the dough balls were the size of gob-stoppers and it was quite obvious from their leathery texture that they had been heated in the microwave in an attempt to revive them from a previous public appearance....which was probably sometime last weekend!The goats cheese, I suspected, what little there was of it, was a remnant from the movie 'SAW' where it had been shredded beyond recognition, the promised croutons were nowhere to be found, the peppers were soggy...how is that even possible?.....and the dressing tasted like it had been watered down........needless to say the waiter was called over, explanations given for my refusal to accept such a travesty and my meal was returned to the 'open' kitchen where daggered looks were fired towards our table from the 'chef' in residence.
I re-ordered and decided on beer battered fillet of cod, that came with fries, peas, tartare sauce and lemon.......usually you are safe with a 'fish & chips' choice.....and yes I was right, it probably was the safest thing on that menu, but the piece of fish I was served up was no relation to a fish called 'cod'......still the batter was tasty and the fish moist and flaky, which made up for the cold fries and the peas that had been nuked in the trusty microwave till they resembled leftover ammo from the american civil war! Still for the sake of my fellow lunch guests I was not going to return my meal yet again! so I ate my piece of fish quietly and left the rest at the side of the plate.
As our party were in a celebratory mood, sort of, we decided to push the boat out and order dessert......more out of curiosity than excited anticipation.....and as we all know the tale.....curiosity killed the cat!
We selected from a menu of desserts typical of thirty other establishments across the city (where they would have been cheaper and tastier!)..........One of our desserts, an individual apple pie, which arrived along with more lukewarm coffee......just as well it was a free top up!..showed vague promise, the pastry looked delicate, the pie itself seemed deliciously deep and apple filled but just as the lucky pie recipient was about to dive in with their spoon, a cry went up...'what's that?' as you can imagine my heart sank....again!...... but all we could do was laugh as what seemed like the amputated legs of a rather large spider or daddy long legs poked jauntily up through the sugar dusting of the apple pie.....examination and diagnosis took place and the consensus was, the pie must be returned....again a member of the waiting staff was called and the said person breezy and unnaturally cheerful returned the 'bug pie' to it's point of origin.....what the kitchen thought of us by this point was anyone's guess! at least we were well out of the firing range of any sharp implements.
We didn't hang around long after that, there was no lingering over coffee delightfully satiated from our lunch, there were no suggestions about having a cheeky alcoholic beverage for the season that's in it knowing that we had the rest of the day to ourselves, no..... our party balloons had well and truly burst and as I sat there wondering what I would cook for dinner that night to make up for not really having my lunch I thought of Christmas 'office' parties of the past.....
The annual ritual that is supposed to put all employees on the same level for one night always seems to turn out to be a bit of a disaster! I know this from personal experience and fact supplied by friends who couldn't wait to tell me of their office shenanigans! Inevitably someone has too much champagne and admits their undying infatuation for the guy in filing who doesn't even know they exist, the boss might been seen openly flirting with their personal assistant...as if everyone didn't already know they'd been having an affair for the last six months......and inevitably someone ends up on top of a table or a desk, depending on where your 'do' is at, attempting to emulate Mariah Carey's 'all I want for Christmas' or dancing to the 'macarena' before falling off and ending up in casualty.
On the slight 'up side' of our attempts at a 'Christmas do', no injuries or embarrassing romantic 'faux pas' occurred and when we went to pay the bill we received a discount equal to a free dessert without asking.....but no hint of apology from the staff was forthcoming, in fact it was evident that there was no major concern at our troubles.....the person we had assumed to be the manager or maître d' had disappeared from sight leaving the lowly and very young serving staff to deal with the aftermath.
All in all we left with a very negative opinion of the place and we know we will never be back, it was an expensive exercise to begin with and now we know it's just not worth the risk in the future!
The Irish tend not to express their complaints very vocally, unlike the Americans or even the French who will shout it from the rooftops and in the face of the manager for the whole restaurant to hear! The Irish choose a different tactic and vote with their feet! and with only about 5 or 6 tables occupied in the restaurant during the busiest lunch season of the year in an area with major 'footfall', the evidence of that fact was clear to be seen!
A wise chef once told me....'never let your mistakes leave the kitchen'......but to live by that, you actually have to care! but if you are a nameless employee of a national franchise why would you?......after all it's just a job.......isn't it?
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